If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
