And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
