i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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