i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I am one with the molecules
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
