i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
