So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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