woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
