Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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