Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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