Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
