Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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