But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
