ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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