Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
