Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
