I'm sorry my penis didn't work
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
