So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
