But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
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