Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
