I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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