He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
