4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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