i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
