what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
