the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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