Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
