i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
