Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
