third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
