hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
