I hope mine doesn't look like that
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
