whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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