A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
