i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Do vagina's smell?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
