I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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