We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
