I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
