is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
