doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
