There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
