ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
