You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
