I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
