The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
