guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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