Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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