I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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