Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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