I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
