Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
