Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
